“OK, kay, kay. I mighta said that he, uh, made me want to kill him, yeah, like the way he totally ignores Dabeez, man, totally ignores them. Have YOU heard Dabeez, huh? He is fuckin’ deaf and a bloody snob don’t know a CD from uh MP3. And he totally igornes Dabeez, too, gimme a break!"
The teen, who was then 14 years old, testified that he threatened Ryan Lindsay because he was rude when he called him and he was copying the songs the teen was playing on his own upstart radio station. “He talks like he knows everything or something,” said the teen, who admitted to phoning the DJ about 50 times between October 2009 and Jan. 15, 2010 to ask him about radio equipment and request songs.
“What do you think of the bass on the new Zaz 505 microphone, man?”
“When I listen to 88.9 on Bose it sucks? What is that? Do dose Bose speakers suck, or what? So why don’t you stop playing all dose Bose ads on Hotshit 89.9, huh?”
“He was saying ‘your station is stupid’ and making fun of the way I talked on the radio,” said the teen. “He was insulting everything I said.”
“You have reached the Hot 89.9 switchboard. Office hours are from 9 a.m until 5:30 p.m., closed Saturdays and Sundays. If you wish to by an ad, please call Ellen Kindle on Monday. Thanks for listening and have a nice day. CLICK' (TRICK VOICE #1:) “Uh, this is Irwin from Cleeves. Couldya please play “Atlas,” okay, Ryan?” (TRICK VOICE #2:) “Pick your bloody nose because you can’t pick music. You SUCK, Lindsay, man’
The teen testified he told Lindsay he would kill him.
“Someone should blow you up and your fuckin’ answering machine. Dabeez Rule!"
“Why did you use those words?” asked his lawyer, François Dulude. “I don’t know,” said the teen, who can’t be identified under provisions of the Youth Criminal Justice Act.
Annotator's Note: Where was THAT when I needed it?
Even though he wasn’t serious about the threat, the teen admitted he then showed up at the radio station in a vehicle driven by his father about 30 minutes later. They drove off because Lindsay wasn’t waiting outside like he said he would, the teen testified. He called Lindsay afterward to ask where he went, he added.
“Hey, Ryan, did you see that station wagon parked outside your station, yeah, ‘cross the street from the front door after you ended your show? By playing that stupid “Noodles Up The Stream” by Iraq Bounceback you did it man. You are dead meat in the street!"
The teen also acknowledged telling police he thought an Industry Canada investigator who seized his radio equipment earlier that day would be “better off dead.”
“The prick cop ripped off me radio, he did!”
But the teen was adamant he didn’t make any similar threats against John Mielke, another radio personality from Bob FM.
“Mienke sucks too! Never plays Dabeez! Fuckin’ never ever, man!
Mielke called police four days later after hearing the teen’s audio blog post where the teen allegedly threatened to kill himself. The teen ended up being arrested by police and spent the day in hospital undergoing a psychiatric evaluation.
(PODCAST:) “Hello. I am an unidentified teen wishing to make a statement for the you tubes. This is my suicide blogpast, uh, blog podcast speech for why Ryan Lindsay made me do this when I drinking this here. I do not wish to spend another day on this planet with a person so insanely stupid … and fucking DEAF … that he cannot get his mind around Dabeez. Has the dickhead ever even read what M. Norsel said about them in ROLLING STONE for Christ’s sake? Hey, man, Ryan, what comes around goes around. Like they sing in “Altar,” man … You can run around mountains and hide behind clouds, lie in the press, die in the shrouds, but when moment comes mon, it’s what he hears and what he strums mon.” I believe that, all you who may see this. And I drink to it. (HOLDS UP GLASS, SWIRLS LIME-COLORED FLUID AND BEGINS TO SIP. TRACK FADES: “Atlas” by Dabeez.)
The next day Mielke called police again after reporting that the teen was online again, this time posting a video asking if he should “shoot” the radio station employee who called police.
“Hey it’s me, asshole! Get this now! I’m gonna come over there in my station wagon to the station and shoot the bastard who called the fucking cops!”
The teen maintained Monday that his words were misheard. “I said ‘sue’,” said the teen, who admitted being angry when police arrived to arrest him.
“If you try to touch me I will sue you and call my barrister. Pig!”
Police officers have testified he had to be restrained with handcuffs to a paramedic backboard to be taken to hospital.
“Well then, asshole, try these on for size,” said the arresting officer after ripping the (audio) buds from the unidentified teen’s ears, pulling out his iPhone, and grinding his boot into the thing.
The teen said he was mad because the police claimed he said something he didn’t say.
By the way, who said what to the writer of this story, he who perhaps is himself a teen?
The teen testified he launched the radio station on Oct. 31 after buying transmitting equipment. He said he went off the air in December because he planned to get a licence, but went back on air on Dec. 24 when an engineer told him it was “impossible” to get a radio licence in Ottawa.
“I got this stuff at the mall, from Radio Shacke, and then I think it came on like at the end of October because Randall heard it online so I figured to get a licence (after I learned the British spelling) and play some Dabeez new CD. You know, the one that dropped on Christmas and then some engineer, maybe it was Ernie, said that you can’t get one here.”
The teen has pleaded not guilty to violating the Radiocommunication Act as well as four charges of criminal harassment and three counts of uttering threats. He is also charged with assaulting a police officer and obstructing justice.
I suggest the teen learn how to spell Radiocommunication Act and that he be excommuncated from the Ryan Lindsay Fan Club of Ottawa. (Secombe, out.)
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