Howzit from Slightly Lower Kane'ohe.

As you might have heard me or other loudmouths say, "IF I had a square asshole I could shit bricks." I spent a bit of serious time trying to track down the source of that gem, but only came across others who have used it in the Blogoshpere.

Which has nothing to do with this first post from my new digs, down the road from the old place, the one I was burned out of. It's even more quiet here than up on the hill (and if you happened to be there you know that is very silent).

While recovering from recent events, my mind found refuge thinking about pro football, which is reaching its crescendo In Miami, where instead of here at Aloha Stadium, the Pro Bowl has been moved to Miami, with the Super Bowl also there in the same Florida city the following week.

Hawai’i voted for Obama because he was supposed to take care of such ripoffs of his home state,

So I been thinkin' IF I had bet $1000 against the Rams in Week One, and let it ride, I would have made like $64K up until Week Seven, at which point they win, I lose it all. But ... they never won another game, finishing last place of all 32 NFL teams with a record of 1-15.

But IF I had started over the next week with one grand I would have won $256,0900 by letting it ride through the end of the Rams horrific season.

Alas, all my bets are in my head but one, which I won. Mitch Fisher lost ten dollars to me once, which he paid to the Rabbi's General Fund, Temple Emanu-el, Nu'uanu, O'ahu, Hawai'i.

But here are my virtual bets going into tomorrow, which always might be the greatest pro football weekend of the year.

I have no idea what the spreads are and have paid little attention to who is favored since I am still in post-traumatic stress over the past months. Not to mention the fugazee Rams, who are going backwards. Straight up:

Cardinals 37, Saints 30

Baltimore 27, Indy 24

Dallas 35, Vikings 16

Chargers 34, Jets 21

Hmmm. Only one home team, San Diego. But what the heck.

Always the best thing for us islanders is that NFL games this time of year start FIVE HOURS EARLIER than East Coast kickoffs. First game at eight o'clock, no waiting, mmmm, delicious.

Kickoff of what I hope to be The Kurt Warner Show is in about 60 minutes. And I am on record. This will look so cool if I come anywhere close. And if I bust, well, one thing about a blog: It can vanish with one key stroke.