KEN LEVINE'S BLOG, 1.7.2009

Hey, there IS a book.

I have mentioned Ron Jacobs before. Part creative genius/part mad scientist/part visionary with all the parts constantly at war with each other. This is the guy who created AMERICAN TOP 40, and the San Diego Chicken among many other brainchildren. He predicted that digital technology would revolutionize the music industry – 38 years ago. He was the first person to recognize that gawky teenager Cameron Crowe was a major talent.

That said, he also has a dark side. The formerly-Los Angeles now-St. Louis Rams have driven him to madness. It’s understandable, certainly this year.

He was also born, raised, and now has returned to Hawaii. From witnessing first hand the attack of Pearl Harbor to statehood, Elvis, Jack Lord, volcanoes, Bette Midler, and hula hoops he has seen it all. Pineapple juice runs through his veins.

You may not be familiar with him but someone who is is Barack Obama. When “Barry” woke up every morning and got ready for high school he listened to “Whodaguy” Ron Jacobs spin the hits on KKUA. He may even have called once and requested “The Night Chicago Died”, we don’t know.

Other than four years living in Indonesia, Obama grew up on Oahu. The person he was to become was forged on the mean streets of paradise. Not exactly the ideal presidential breeding ground. But Obama was unique and so is his story.

Ron Jacobs has written a book about Obama’s time in Hawaii – OBAMALAND. And since it was written by someone who KNOWS Hawaii, and knows everyone who knows Obama, it’s a far more complete profile than the seven gazillion other books that are out there. Plus, Ron writes in a clear colorful voice.

Did you know Obama was one of only two blacks in a student body of 3500?

Did you know his goal in life was to become Dr. J.? (I hope he’s not too disappointed having to settle for Commander in Chief of the free world.)

Want to see all the places Obama used to hang out? (Much more fun than driving around LA with a map looking for Diana Ross’ old house.)

Want to learn the effect Zippy’s had on his life?

These and a thousand other fascinating facts and stories are included in OBAMALAND along with great never-before-seen photos.

So if you’re interested in walking a mile in President Obama’s flip flops, you can get more info and order at tradepublishing.com.

If he begins his inauguration speech with “Hey, howzit?” you’ll now know why.

DALLAS COWBOYS, AMERICA'S BAD TEAM

I have been watching Dallas since they appeared in their silly Roller Derby uniforms in the early 1960s. They were wretched and so was their league. Then, when football people like Tex Schramm ran things they got good, all the way to Super Bowls. All class walked out the door with Tom Landry and his Old School ways.

Jerry Jones is an example of money in the wrong hands. Jones is the George W. Bush of NFL owners. There have been few good ones since those who succeeded the Originals of 1920 sucked most of the verve out of the game. There is a reason Pittsburgh, the Giants, Pats, and now the Falcons, have happy fans more often than not: Their owners truly care about the fans feelings, not just their pocketbooks. Jones is one of those too long to getting things his own way, the rest be damned. Absolute Power results in a an absolutely corrupt excuse of a football "team." The Eagles are lucky to last another week, against a real team.

If one wants to see lopsided games featuring the home team rolling roughshod over the confused visitors, why not watch Friday Night high school football? It is free. Most of the "student-athletes" have way too much to worry about than their egos.

It all starts at the top, and all the money in the world will not BUY Jerry Jones what HE wants. Meantime poor Poke fans suffer. The guy in the cheapest seats cares more about the team than the Dallas owner and his sycophants, obviously, since the hard core Cowboy fan is paying out the bread for this absurd enterprise. And He sits there, with his kid at his feet, face stretched ready to rip as he Watches Romo Burn any credibility this franchise once had. Roger Staubach was a gentleman, which is hard to say about yesterday's losers with overbloated paychecks.

Jones should go run some Banana Republic, buy a General's uniform and go torture some poor souls who deserve it. Jones is an insult to the Game, its fans and the great state of TEXAS.

Whenever I think the Rams have hit bottom all I have to do is check out the Nightmare In Dallas. And we Rams fans know BAD -- but two Super Bowls in ten years is cool. Compared to Jerry Jones, who drinks his own Kool-Aid and lives in delusion.

eGRINCH FOR CHRISTMAS

To Customer Service at a company that is presumably laughing all the way to the bank:

I bought a lamp from you way back when you began your company. A modest start, selling reading lamps from your home. Back before the Internet, email, online ordering and all this fancy stuff you now hustle.

This lamp was "guaranteed for life." When it died you refused to replace it. I was instructed to ship it to you at my expense, and it would be repaired, "if possible." I decided it was not worth the additional hassle. I'd wasted time and money and not been satisfied, so I tossed the lamp and decided to never deal with you again.

This year, somehow, I landed on your email list.  I should have just cancelled the unsolicited mailings, which praise your firm's expanded product list of "tools" designed to satisfy my "passion for reading" and feature nice pictures with seductive ad copy.

My biggest mistake was purchasing my one Christmas present for myself this year from YOU. I spent more on it than I did back in the 80s for the lamp -- at least the lamp worked for a while. And even more money to assure delivery by the holiday. 

The package arrived here in Hawaii on Dec. 24. The shipping box was way too large for the item, but it did have your company name all over it. The inflated packing material, doubtless more expensive since it also bore your company name, "protected" a glossy cardboard box with a matching faux silk ribbon. Inside, the item was wrapped in a soft gray cloth. I still have no idea of what that was for; it has no apparent function other than to further drive up the cost.

I finally got to my item: AL8670 LTR TQ Circa Bookcloth notebook,  Letter - Turquoise. This shoddy, overpriced thing would be a joke, if not for my disappointment. I still have not resolved whether I am more upset with myself for being a gullible sucker, or if I am more incensed by the false manner in which this item was represented in your eTrade catalog.

Its main "feature," a bit of elastic supposed to keep things in order, is stitched into the back of the notebook in a position where it is IMPOSSIBLE TO FUNCTION AS ADVERTISED.

There is some sort of a vinyl-like tab, with Velcro, attached to the back. I have NO idea of what it is, since it is too small to use as a latch or serve any purpose.

When I turned the page of additional material being pitched to me, it tore out of the book. The materials are cheap. I have seen similar notebooks at the Marukai 99-Cent Store in the Windward Mall in Kaneohe, which sells Made In China merchandise of the same shoddy type for much less money.

The front pocket is too tight to function. The back cover is wasted: it has nothing to offer, working or not. If there is a “pen loop,” is also too tight to function. The “synthetic” material makes 1950s plastic seem elegant in comparison.

This experience has flamed my passion all right. It has motivated me to spend this time on the morning after Christmas WARNING would-be buyers about your overpriced, mega hyped products. They are obviously advertised in a manner to appeal to gullible, wannabe writers. As a professional writer, that just adds insult to the injury self-inflicted on my own self-judgment.

I should have learned the first time -- based on my bad experience years ago with YOU, when humans, not computers, dealt with your customers -- that your company is mostly all talk and has little useful, let alone economical, merchandise to offer. Perhaps you can use some of that fanciful prose to advise me how to return this junk, get my hard-earned money back and my name off your mailing lists, forever. OK, you want feedback? 

The only thing appropriate about my Christmas gift to myself this year is that it is consistent with the greed, incompetence and deceit of many of this country’s firms, who think they can hoodwink the dumbed down U.S. consumer.

If one person reads this note and is prevented from throwing away good money by investing in your overpriced, overrated products, then perhaps something good will have come of my HOLIDAY NIGHTMARE, for which you are 100% responsible.

Karmic Kalikimaka to YOU!

I know, I know, it is ultimately MY fault.  Fall for the line, prepare to be hooked.

MAHALO, WORLD!

WhodaguyHawaii.com on December 23, 2008, 6:30 pm HST

THANKS FOR LISTENING & HAPPY HOLIDAYS

The Crew streaming Hawaiian music around the Internet, 

around the clock, from Kaneohe, Oahu, says Hauoli Makahiki Hou

LONNIE HENDERSON, BEST FRIEND

Mike Deshales and Lonnie on a cruise last winter.

LONNIE HENDERSON 

August 11, 1921 ~ December 10, 2008

My former roommate passed away a few weeks back.  Living in Paradise is the easy excuse for missing funerals. Three for me since Thanksgiving, all in Southern California, where the only thing I've truly missed since the day I left in 1997 was being able to drive around and visit my friends.

Lonnie was one of two octogenarians I've kept up with through this year. My friend Bill Mouzis, a sturdy Greek, is alive in the Valley and celebrating having an anti-Bush letter published in the San Fernando Valley Daily News.  My friend Don McDiarmid, Jr.,  a jolly Irishman, who also hit the 86-year mark (and a 60th anniversary) in 2008, is hanging in at his home in Kailua, surrounded by the stuff you would imagine in the hale of the godfather of Hawaiian music. 

With each passing year I appreciate more the Wise Men who've befriended me since before I was out on the street.  Lonnie knew more about that than anyone in my life.  Aloha, brother, I know you are smiling.  Save me a piece of chicken.

AT A LOSS, AGAIN

For those of you paying attention, a giant storm hit our island on Wednesday.  Much damage. Up here on our Kaneohe hill we lost power beyond our ability to keep the website audio online to the server, near Disneyland.  

Took down the Christmas music when we go it back up streaming.  Now rebooting some of the Best Of  2007 Shows, most of which I am hearing for the first time.  Different trip, hosting them and doing the tech stuff, from kicking back and listening on a fine system.

Try it sometime.  The temperature is 72 degrees, I'm typing in my shorts, windows open, looking out at K-Bay.  I cain't even relate to what I see on the news about weather elsewhere, those of your reading this in frozen climes or in earth-warmed years.  Where do all the blogged electrons go? Brrr.  Maybe Rams get HOT this week.

FROM BARRY'S HONOLULU HOOD

THANKS for your interest in our book, coming soon:

OBAMALAND: Who Is Barack Obama?

OBAMALAND at BUTIGROOVE

The Local Kine Obama Stuff ~ In The Neighborhood

Red White & Blue Corner Across from Ala Moana

500A Piikoi Street ~  Honolulu, Hawaii 96814

(808) 589-2884 ~ http://www.butigroove.com/

JOHN F. KENNEDY

May 29, 1917 ~ November 22, 1963